Guestbook Entries Continued

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Oh, Mijo, It is your 1yr.Anniversary (7/6/03) Remembering the day you were born 11 1/2 hrs of pain. Is a story I continue to tell. Who would have known almost 18 Years later was the start of my living hell. How we were cheated, you of a life, Me of a son. It still breaks my heart every time I think of what our lives would be like today. I often look at your pictures, trying to imagine you graduating from college, and achieving your goals and plans. I even try to imagine your wedding day (too soon to say if she would of been your bride, but you and Claudia made such a beautiful couple),and even you becoming a Daddy, (because you were always so good to kids and you would of been a wonderful daddy), and of course I would have grandkids of my own. Shattered dreams, we will NEVER see any of them. I will never see you achieve your goals and plans, your wedding day, or the day you would become a daddy. I will never be a Nana/Grandmother, or Mother-in-Law. I often hear songs on the radio that you liked, or even when new songs that come out, I wonder if you would of liked this one or that one. Mijo just when life was just beginning. Your maturity was beginning to show. you no longer were not embarrassed to dance, even with me, nor were you as shy as you used to be. What fun we were having. We had a lot in common. After all we did grow up together. Mijo I miss you sooo much. Until I find my way, living day to day, and minute by minute, I am learning to do what I have to do to get through the day. I still cry for you just about everyday, and my heart still feels the emptiness. The hole in my heart is forever, nothing can heal it. This probably will never change and that is okay. I still question "why I am still here"? The lasting impression you left behind Mijo, is so touching. Mijo, here we are 1 yr later and you still shine. What a honor it is to be your mom. In my heart your are very much alive. I have so many memories, good, funny, happy that very much out weigh the bad (our arguments, our disagreements, or when we would piss each other off)although bitter sweet our love was still there and we knew it. I know you are with me 24, 7. I still believe, that for every smile, laugh, smirk, dumb thing I say, dumb thing I do, for every joke I say, Mijo I know this is you, and your with me. And in the eye of the public I try my best to keep my head up and I do this all in you honor because I know this is how you would want it. Till then, I guess we'll temporally live in separate places, until the day we can live together again. One day these dreams will come true. I will Forever Miss You and Carry You In Forever In My Heart, "Oh My Angel" I LUV YOU, Mom P.S. Over the months somehow I have managed to survive. Mijo, Your the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank you so much for all the memories, with these I can thrive.
Paul Jr.z Mom <(Day 365)>
USA - Sunday, July 06, 2003 at 16:15:38 (PDT)

Wow Mijo, I can still remember this day so clearly. I can pretty much remember just about all of your July red's. I remember when you were afraid of the fireworks It wasn't til July 4, 88 when we were at Grandma Inez's. You kept on saying "Yofas, wake-up", (but Josepeh was just about a month old so he slept through it all). Then Uncle Rog came with Barbie and Marce. Uncle Danny began lighting all those BIG fireworks and you were so mesmerized by them. At first you were scared to hold a sparkler (I didn't like fireworks), then you saw Marcelina holding one shortly you were holding a sparkler of your own. 4th of July became one of your favorite holidays next to Christmas. I worried for a minute there, you know why? (smile). I remember last year so clear. 4th Of July, calling me from work (10x), you defiantly did not want to be at work on your favorite day, Oh, Mijo We had so much fun. I am so numb Mijo. I miss you so much., Mom
Paul Jr.z Mom <( 364)>
USA - Friday, July 04, 2003 at 13:13:16 (PDT)

Oh Mijo, I can still remember this day so clearly. Through out the entire month of June, I can remember just about everyday so clear just as if it was yesterday. I can't get you off my mind. Everything I do, something reminds me of you. If I am out, I'm looking for "perfect bald heads" with noticeable ears and hoping that it might be you. Sometimes I feel I would rather be dead than to have to endure this pain, but I know that is not the answer. For every good day I might have, there are at least 2 bad ones to make up for it. Oh Jr. what does the future hold. I feel like and negative numb nut, I don't know how I have managed this far. I LUV YOU MIJO. and you are FOREVER ON MY MIND. "Oh My Angel" I miss you so much. Mom
Paul Jr.z Mom <Day 362>
USA - Thursday, July 03, 2003 at 15:32:02 (PDT)

I miss and love you so much Paul! This isn't fair you were just getting started. WHY??? I catch myself wishing so badly that I was with you. Some day soon.
l'll never forget
USA - Wednesday, July 02, 2003 at 22:57:00 (PDT)

If only...
nothingbutlove
LB, CA USA - Sunday, June 29, 2003 at 22:37:12 (PDT)

aIghTZ id jUsT lYkE 2 sAy rIp 2 pAuL....iMMa dRoP a pOEm thAt i WrOte AboUT mY broTHa...I wouLD LYkE 2 sHaRe It cAuSE i KnoW soOo MaNY pEOpLE fEEl THiS PaiN.....dEATh bUT wE gOTtA mOve On N kEEp ThA memORiES alIve... dAyUuM wHuRr dO dA mAmI bEgIn wIt dIz pAiN uP iN mAh cHeSt nOw i kNo iVe bEeN tOuChEd bY sOmE aNgElZ iN mAh lYfE gUeSs dA fAcT wUz i nEvA uNdAsTOod dA cOncEpT oF dYiN nOw i sPeNd mAh LAtE nIgHtZ oVa yO gRaVe sTiLl mOuRnIn. i mEmBa eRrYtHiN wE wEnT tHrO iMa mAkE yOu pRoUd nO mAtTa wHa kInDa sItUaTiOnZ i hAfTa gO tHRo i nEeD sUmPiN tA tElL mE tA kEeP mOviN oN cUz u dUnNo hOw hArD dIz iZ fO mE i LoSs My brOThA dEcEmBA 9, 2002 iLl NeVa lEt ANyOnE fORgEt u ЋЗДЈ`З.JeSSIcA..ЗДЈ`Л
jEsSiKaH.. <RIP_RICKY_12902@YAHOO.COM>
oRaNge CoUnTy, CA USA - Sunday, June 01, 2003 at 22:28:47 (PDT)

paul remember when we would talk on the phone about girls,movies,music and we also talk while we where tacking a dump we talked about everything my mom would get mad because we where always talking on the phone she thought we where gay but i really wanted to be like my boy paul paul was different he carried a mirror no burgers or nothing could be on his face and don't step on his shoe's or mess up his clothes, you have impacted me big time i know mando is your best friend but we had our times where we were close big time man we talked about farts, bugers, toes i know my last year of high school i messed up on you but you never try to let it bother you but paul im sorry for messing up on you you know what i mean, eliana had a boy i named it damian i know you found out before about my baby but i never got the chance of telling you but i guess you already know man every time i go visit you i think we talked about everything but we never talked about death man you didn't deserve it but you know what they say they always take the best one's just make sure we got jail burgers and remember don't forget the girls with pretty toes. take care of my two baby's (Eleiana and Damian) and my family well paul just remember the world wasn't ready for you !!!!
Pedro aka Jhonny <www.damian562@yahoo.com >
long beach , ca USA - Monday, May 19, 2003 at 02:08:32 (PDT)

WHATS UP CUZ ,ITS ALOST AS BIN A YEAR SINCE I HAVE SEE YOU AND I MISS YOUR PUNK *SS ALOT! U R ALWAY'S IN MY HEART I JUST WISH U WERE HERE. ANT DOG LOOKS UP TO U ALL THE TIME HE SAYS [HE MISSES MY NINO]THEN WE START LAUGHING AT THE GOOD TIMES WE SHARED. STAY UP CUZ I KNOW U ARE LOOKING OVER ME , I CAN FEAL U SOME TIMES AND IT GIVES ME CONFODANCE TO KEEP ON GOING I'LL SEE U WHEN I GET THERE.
primo <Albertjrj4@aol.com>
LONG BEACH, SCA USA - Sunday, May 18, 2003 at 20:56:16 (PDT)

Mijo, I still remember when I held you for the first time after you were born. I can remember counting our ages--when you turned 18, I would be 37...then it seemed so far away. I never imagined that I would be here and you there, then celebrating your 18th birthday without you there. I can't even put into words the roller coaster of emotions I have gone through this past year (309 days). I feel I have aged about 10 years. I felt younger when you were here, now I feel like my age (I don't I act it, so don't laugh). Like I said before, it feels like someone is punching me in my heart, and sometimes I feel like I'm short of breath. Sometimes it hurts as if it was yesterday, or I feel so numb that I can't cry or move because I get angry. Mijo I miss you sooo much and it feels like a bad dream where can't wake up. As I go through the room, seeing every souvenir, stuffed animal, every piece of clothing, shoes, school work etc...I can still remember where you got just about all of it, even who gave it to you, what it meant to you. Mijo you know I know just about everything you have/had. I knew/know your favorite sweatshirt, song, etc... (I KNOW was not returned when your things were brought home). Mijo, I know we used to argue about you leaving shit laying around, not picking up or putting things back from where you got it, or not throwing anything away, but now I'm glad you didn't--I have something from every phase of your life, from my pregnancy to your last day on this earth. I know I have kept/keep to much, but for now it keeps me close to you and that's all that matters to me. I can recall our arguments especially curfew, the car ahh, wait what about the piercings. Member?? You Member. Although bittersweet, I still miss it. I spend a lot of time thinking about you Mijo. I try very hard to keep my head up in your Honor, but sometimes my heartache leaves no room for anything else. I think about all the things we've missed sharing. this year. When (well 1 1/2 yrs before) you had come out of the "to embarrassed" to dance, or dance with me for what ever reason. The parties, weddings, etc. you always aknowleged me. Now your not here to go places anymore, I miss that Mijo. Am I healing?? Sometimes I think so, sometimes I wonder, I still cry a lot, when I am at work I cry, at home I cry, when I am out I cry, just about every day I cry. I don't like the evenings, especially Sunday-Thursdays. Make-up is just a waste of time, so is combing my hair and I still don't wear a watch. I still keep our apartment full of your pictures. I can't stop asking God why you-I do ask him to help me live the life I need to live so we can be together again-it is helping me from having to explain to you what I did with my life...Right now, I'm just existing, so when we see each other again, please forgive me for what I did or did not do for the past year. Please know I am trying. "Re-define", what the hell, to define who I am, seeking my purpose. Mijo, I am so lost with out, I mention you name everyday, to every/any one who is willing to listen. I still say I'm "Paul's Mom",as if it were my name. Even though I will always be your Mom, society now looks at me differently because your not here. Jr. you're probably trippin on some people true colors. You probably would not believe it if you read it. Losing you has really rip up my/our world. Grief has changed me, changed my life. It has caused me treat people differently (meaning if you didn't hear me then, you will hear me now). I even feel different about myself. I change a from laughing, being funny, being content to crying, bitter, angry, and extremely sad.(I do all at one time). As for who I am, well I am your mom who is hurting for you. I am your mom who will always feel the emptiness, and will never again be complete. Mijo, I am the mother who was forced into miss all that you could have been. I am your mother who cared and watched you grow. The one who has many more years of tears to cry. Mijo I am your Mom who LOVES YOU more than anyone will ever know. Most of all, I am the Mother who was/is blessed for your birth, and so thankful to have you as MY SON. Forever I will be grateful to YOU MIJO for all you have taught me persistence, self-worth, to go for what I believe in. I will forever feel within my heart all the PRIDE, LOVE AND JOY that you have given me, which has made me the person I am today and forever always be a Proud Mother, your Mom. Mijo I felt today I would tell you how much you meant to me, although I wish I could remove this day from the calender, so I will declare it "My Mijo's day". I surely do miss your words, thoughts, your company, my left arm, and the specialties that come with mother's day. (your cards etc. I still have every memory, card, gift for any/every occasion that we shared) and I will cherish them forever. MIJO, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I FOREVER WILL MISS YOU. "OH MY ANGEL,COME BACK TO ME" Mom
PAUL JR.z Mom (309)
USA - Sunday, May 11, 2003 at 02:31:59 (PDT)

Hi Mijo, I could not sleep, then the dogs had to go potty and it sure is cold outside. When I came back in I was going to turn off the computer instead I wanted to visit you. I'm so lonely without you, no one to nag, no one to sound like a "broken record", Brat! I found in your stack of papers a note you wrote in class to one of your friends. You noted that you had gotten mad at me because I told you to take out the trash. Oh well, you remember "do chores or get sores". In the end you remembered "who's the boss". It made me laugh cause it is/was so much YOU. Mijo I miss you so much. It feels like someone is punching me in my heart, at times I feel like I'm short of breath. Is this what it feels like when you no longer have a child to mother. For the first time Uhh, that God awful question...."How many children do you have?" I didn't want to answer. "I have one" or "I had one". How was I to respond? I wasn't sure I understood. I didn't understand...Did it mean I am no longer a mother? Is this confusion part of grief? Mijo, You were/are my light in my life. My Friend, My Buddy, My left arm. You were my first born, my last born, You were my only born. You were my Only Child. Right or wrong, nor do I care but in my opinion WE will ALWAYS be MOM and SON. Needless to say that I felt really hurt/offended and this was on paper. On top of that with a day I wish I could remove from the calender approaching made it worse. Well Mijo I am going to go back to bed. I will visit you later today ok. I hope for a another dream. I was so happy, but so sad when I woke up. I waited 300 days for that. Even though it took so much out of me, it was all worth it."Oh My Angel" Good nite.I LUV U MIJO, Mom
Paul Jr.z Mom (308)
USA - Saturday, May 10, 2003 at 04:26:19 (PDT)

HEY PAUL!!! WOW I AM SO GLAD THAT WE ARE RELATED BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY "GIRLS" THAT THOUGHT YOU LOVED THEM. YEAH WE'RE P.I.M.P.S. I KNOW YOUR MOM SEES HOW THE FEMALES FLOCK TO YOU BUT REALLY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME IN MY HOUSE AND YOURS. I REGRET NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK TO MONDO BUT WE NEVER REALLY SAW EYE TO EYE. YOU'RE COOL THOUGH. I SEEN BETO AND SOME OTHER FRIENDS OF YOURS EVERYONES JUST COPING. NOW THAT PROM IS SO CLOSE I CAN JUST REMEMBER A YEAR AGO WHEN YOU GAVE ME A SHORT NOTICE TO GO WITH MONDO. IT WAS FUN UNTIL MY PEACE WAS DISTURBED! LOL! YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I JUST REALIZE THAT YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO EVERYONE AND EVEN IF THEY ONLY MET YOU ONCE THEY KNOW THAT THEY WERE BLESSED. I LOVE YOU....COUSIN. WELL I'LL BE SEEIN' YOU SOONER OR LATER ON YOUR RIGHT HAND SIDE...
MARCELINA <CHICAMA719@AOL.COM>
LONG BEACH , CA USA - Wednesday, May 07, 2003 at 09:08:16 (PDT)

I miss u so much......
Melissa <Malika1212@cs.com>
Downey, Ca USA - Saturday, May 03, 2003 at 23:31:16 (PDT)

hey romie, checking in with you to say, "Hello". and to let you know that we have you deeply in our hearts and we would like to see you again sometime so give me a call you know that we are still here for you and always will, you are always remember as well as Paul.
Betty <lavijo718@aol.com>
long beach, cs USA - Saturday, May 03, 2003 at 17:29:53 (PDT)

Hey Paul,remember the days when you'd come to our house and your mom would always say that you wanted to go with your other family and eat milk and cookies.she would always make fun of you saying, "that you miss your milk and cookies".You are such a good friend and thanks again for the best 4th of July.We miss you and always thinking of you.
Jennifer Pryor <Lavijo@aol.com>
Long Beach, CA USA - Saturday, May 03, 2003 at 17:15:19 (PDT)

Dear Paul-We miss you so very much. I know you r up there showing your special style. Are they copying you yet? No one ever relly could. Watch over us down here, cus its getting bad.
marisol <solimar@sundial.com>
LKWD, CA USA - Sunday, April 27, 2003 at 16:20:23 (PDT)

Hi Mijo, Happy Easter. I hope you have a beatiful day. There is not a moment that goes by that I don't think of you. I miss you soo much Jr. I have some news Mijo, I found me a Mentor. She is women who has been through the same thing as I, only 3x more. She is the one who has been helping me restore my faith, not that I have lost it but, rather I was "questioning it". I have been going to bible study, and starting church again. Without question, I know if it wasn't for my faith, I don't believe I could have come this far. My pain is still deep, this will never change. There is no cure for it, only in due time I will learn to live with it, ??find comfort.?? There is more I want to tell you, but I know you already know the most of it. I love you Mijo, Forever In My Heart. Mom
"Oh My Angel" <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
288, USA - Sunday, April 20, 2003 at 15:41:26 (PDT)

Wassup lil paul!!! Well nuthin' much here just chillin' here at home with my moms. I know you probally hardly remember me but when we were young we played tee-ball. You know with me,my sister yvonne, you, macelina. DODGERS!! Well i hope you remember. But i just though i might just say wassup to you and hope u doing good up there. Save a spot for me cuz one day we'll be playing ball up there too. Oh and one more thing Hi Romi. Hope to see you again soon. But anyways Paul, i'll holla at chu later but stay up and one love......lil beto
lil beto pina <albertz2k1@yahoo.com>
Long Beach, Ca USA - Friday, April 18, 2003 at 21:30:45 (PDT)

Hi Mijo, Thinking of you as another day goes by. My pain is still deep. I miss you so much I just can't believe this has happened. It just doesnt seem real! I am trying but, just can't flow with it. Though I have been very fortunate to be surrounded by friends/family that allow me express myself and feel however I want to.. Since then, I have learn to cry and laugh at the same time; oh and dance,talk sh**,play pool,drink beer,listen to music (in no order)all at one time. Because my world has come to a halt and no longer is normal; I dont expect I do know and I am well aware that everyone else's life does go back to normal. I have seen/read Betos note,please tell him "no, I am not mad,I know where his heart is,and to stay focused on his plan" Well Mijo,My Still Fly I love you forever. Mom
Oh My Angel <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Thursday, April 17, 2003 at 00:06:12 (PDT)

Hey Romie, my heart goes out to you and the family. Sandra said hi and she misses you, Paul & Snoopy. We will never forget your son. We will always remember the the good times we shared. Take care, with love always Pat and Sandra
Pat Mills
La Mirada, CA USA - Sunday, April 13, 2003 at 21:14:37 (PDT)

Hey Paul how is life on the other side? sorry that i'm asking this question, but I just wanted to konw my friend. I hope that your doing good and your watching over your mom and every-one taht cares for you. Im been busy as you can see. I been working alot and going to school to get some thing started for my life later on. sorry that I havent gone to see your mom, but once i get out of school for summer vacation Im going to visit your mom. I hope that she is doing good. Well i dont hope I know that roma is doing great. I hope that she isn't mad at me because I haven't been there to see her. When ever she needs something or some help she knows to ask me so that i can ask and see if they will give me the day. Everybody in my family that knows you says "HI". Well my good friend take care of yourself and your love ones. Your friend for ever Alberto Lopez. Much Love for You.
Alberto Lopez <beatle19842002@yahoo.com>
Long Beach, Ca USA - Friday, April 11, 2003 at 23:17:09 (PDT)

Hey J.R. I was looking through some books of mine and I found this poem and it describes what I feel about you leaving this world. MY DEAREST FRIEND, YOU'VE LEFT ME, STANDING ALL ALONE. MY BODY'S NUMB WITH SORROW, I DON'T KNOW MY WAY HOME. I'M LOST, DEPRESSED AND FRIGHTENED, FOR YOU'RE NOT HERE WITH ME. AND SOMEWHERE DEEP INSIDE MY HEART, MY FRIEND, YOU'LL ALWAYS BE. I KNOW YOU COULDN'T HELP IT, AND YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GO, BUT NONETHELESS YOU LEFT ME, SAD AND ALL ALONE. ALTHOUGH I HAVE MY PARENTS, AND OTHER FRIENDS SO CLOSE, I DON'T KNOW WHY IT IS, BUT I LOVE YOU, FRIEND THE MOST. YOUR KINDNESS UNTO OTHERS, HAS WASHED UP ONTO ME, YOU HELPED ME OUT WHEN TIMES WERE TOUGH, AND YOU HELPED TO MAKE ME SEE. YOU HAVE BEEN SO GOOD TO ME, AND AS I LET YOU GO, I KNOW YOU WERE A TRUE FRIEND, AND FOR THAT I LOVE YOU SO. FOR AS LONG AS I CAN RECOGNIZE, YOU'VE HELPED ME TO BE STRONG, AND GIVEN ME THE COURAGE AND FAITH, TO KEEP ON MOVING ON. SO WITH MY SAD AND HEAVY HEART, THIS PART COMES TO AN END. BUT I WILL NOT SAY GOOD-BYE, YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY FRIEND. I miss you BUDDY and I always will. I am always thinking of you brother. I love and miss you lots. LOVE ALWAYS, MeLiSsA (AkA: BuDdY/LiL sIs)
MELISSA ROBLEDO <MALIKA1212@CS.COM>
DOWNEY, CA USA - Wednesday, March 26, 2003 at 22:36:08 (PST)

"OH MY ANGEL" I'm thinking of you Mijo. I miss you so much Jr.
I LUV U MIJO, Mom
Day 263, USA - Wednesday, March 26, 2003 at 21:30:22 (PST)

Such a handsome young man. Please visit my angels website, she was only 16 when she went to be with jesus.
Shirley Baer <slsbaer@att.net>
Santa Fe, tx USA - Tuesday, March 25, 2003 at 00:42:52 (PST)

I couln't sleep, Mijo I miss you so much. Here is a little poem, Bound By Love...You're in my vision even when my eyes are closed. I can almost touch you, feel the softness of your hand, smell your hair, and see the fire in your enigmatic eyes. You never leave me, never let me sleep. Your are watching me, haunting me day and night, reminding me that with your love I'm Bound! "OH MY ANGEL"
I LUV U MIJO, Mom <day 255>
USA - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 at 00:51:31 (PST)

I like your site
bd40476 <bd40476@lycos.co.uk>
Austria - Wednesday, March 12, 2003 at 12:09:04 (PST)

Mijo, I miss you so much.
I LUV U MIJO, Mom <Day 248>
USA - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 at 23:13:57 (PST)

hey paul i thought i would write you ..The other day i passed by are old class and sat ther. i sat in my old seat and thought about all the fun times that we had making ms.tater mad ..i miss u very much but i know that we will meet again very soon love always resee
resee
long beach, ca USA - Friday, March 07, 2003 at 20:15:52 (PST)

Mijo, Still thinking of you every minute of the day. "Oh My Angel, Forever in my heart
I LUV U MIJO, Mom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
Day 242, USA - Wednesday, March 05, 2003 at 19:07:06 (PST)

HEY BABY BOY IT IS ME AGAIN, YOU KNOW SINCE YOU HAVE BEEN GONE THERE THIS ONE SONG AND VIDEO THAT KEEP AND KEEP ON HEARING AND WATCHING THE VIDEO OF. THE SONG IS CALLED "WHERE YOU ARE" BY JESSICA SIMPSON AND NICK FROM THE 98 DEGREES. THAT SAYS THAT THERE ARE TIMES THAT I SWEAR I KNOW YOU ARE HERE WATCHING OVER ME . AND THAT YOU WILL WRAP ME IN YOUR WINGS AND YOU WILL TAKE ME WERE YOU ARE. I CAN STILL SEE YOUR FACE PAUL AND STILL TASTE YOUR LIPS. EVERYTIME I FEEL ALONE I CLOSE MY EYES AND I WANT TO PRETEND THAT YOU SOME HOW ARE NEXT TO ME. I JUST HOPE THAT EVERYTHING THAT SONG SAYS WOULD ONE DAY COME TRUE AND I MEAN EVERYTHING. I HEAR THAT SONG ALMOST EVERYDAY PAUL. I MISS YOU PAUL I MISS YOU BEING AROUND YOU KNOW ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I CHANGED JOBS WAS BECAUSE I WOULD FEEL SAD EVERY TIME I WENT ON LUNCH BREAK. PLUS OH MY GOD THAT WAS ONE OF THE PLACES YOU WERE THE MOST AT THE " MALL " I WOULD JUST THINK OF THE TIMES YOU WOULD GO LATE AT NIGHT TO GET THE HOOK UP AT CINNABON AND THEN HOW YOU WOULD MESS AROUND. SAYING THAT I WAS NOT DOING MY THINGS RIGHT LIKE IF YOU WERE THE BOSS THERE. I WOULD HAVE SO MUCH FUN WITH YOU THERE. PAUL SOMETIMES I FEEL SO PIST OFF AT THE WORLD FOR WATH HAPPEND TO YOU. WHY , WHY YOU?????????? THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS AND NO ANSWERS AT ALL !!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU HONEY .........
yuridia <www.RamonRbls@aol.com >
long beach , ca USA - Thursday, February 27, 2003 at 22:40:10 (PST)

To a dear friend, we are missing you every Day. Y ou in the 300 building by the corner is a though that stays in my mind. when i pass by there memories of the past days still stay as a video playing over and over again... much love goes to the guy that always smilled regardless...LOVE AND PEACE... ALWAYS ROSA
rosa
Long Beach, CA USA - Friday, February 21, 2003 at 10:46:46 (PST)

HAPPY VALENTINES BABY. PAUL I MISS YOU SO MUCH I MISS ALL THE NICE TIMES YOU AND I WOULD HAVE. I MISS MY CELL RINGING AND SEEING YOUR NAME ON MY CALLER ID. I MISS HEARING YOUR VOICE ON THE VOICE MAIL. EVERYTIME I WOULD HEAR YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW I WOULD JUST HAVE A SMILE ON MY FACE. I MISS THE TIMES YOU WOULD PLAY AROUND IN MY CAR. YOU KNOW WHEN I DRIVE TO WORK OR WHEN IM IN THE CAR BY MYSELF I CANT STOP THINKING OF YOU. PAUL YOU JUST LEFT ME WITH ALLOT OF QUESTIONS AND TONS AND TONS OF MEMORIES OF US TWO. HOW I WISH YOU WERE STILL HERE. MY SISTER AND I MISS YOU ALLOT. SOMETIMES SHE GETS ON THE NET AND SEES YOUR PIX, YOU SHOULD SEE HER SHE IS GOING THROUGH ALLOT OF PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW I WISH YOU WOULD STILL BE HERE I KNOW YOU WOULD HELP HER AND TALK TO HER. HER AND I CANT STOP THINKING OF YOU, WE TALK OF THE TIMES US THREE WOULD GO TO THE MALL AND GOOF AROUND. AND ALL THE MEMORIES THAT YOU JUST LEFT US WITH. I MISS YOU SO MUCH . I KNOW IT MIGHT SOUND DUMB BUT REMEMBER HOW YOU WOULD MOVE EVERYTHING FROM MY CAR. LIKE THE MIRRORS, RADIO, AND SPRAY WHATEVER THERE WAS IN THE CAR AND TRASH IT WELL. THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I GET ON THE CAR AND ALL OF MY INSIDE MIRRORS ARE MOVED WELL I JUST WANT TO THINK THAT IT IS STILL YOU WHO DOES IT. I MADE A NICE PHOTO ALBUM OF ALL THE PIC I TOOK OF YOU AND THE ONCE WERE WE ARE BOTH ON THEM IT LOOK SO NICE. AND THE COVER OF THE ALBUM IS WITH ANGELS THEY ARE HAPPY ANGELS PLAYIN AROUND AND BEING GOOFY JUST LIKE YOU WERE AND WHAT YOU ARE NOW AND ANGEL THAT GOD NEEDED WITH HIM BY HIS SIDE. LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER YOU WILL BE IN MY HEART . I MISS YOU SO MUCH . LOVE AND KISSES . HAPPY VALENTINES DAY NO MATTER HOW FAR YOU ARE. ******** YURIDIA ***************
yuridia <RamonRbls@aol.com>
long beach , ca USA - Saturday, February 15, 2003 at 00:59:31 (PST)

(223)Happy Valentines Day Mijo. As you spread your love around, open your beautiful wings. It's just not the same!Theres not a minute that goes by that your not on my mind. I miss you so much Jr. "Oh My Angel" come back to me. Forever in my heart.
I LUV U MIJO, Mom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
Long Beach, USA - Friday, February 14, 2003 at 20:06:07 (PST)

ROMIE HI I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU AND MY SISTER GINA SAYS YOUR DOING OK. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. AND SO DO MY PRAYERS HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON .LUV KIM
KIM LUGO <MYBOYCOKIES@AOL.COM>
FONTANA, CA USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 13:32:23 (PST)

Big Brother: It's your Lil Sis, Melissa. I was thinking about you, so I decided to write you a lil message. Yesterday, Claudia and I had gone out and on our way home, all we could think about was that you should be there with us, going out and just chilling. Claudia and I talk about all our memories with you EVERYDAY. It's just so different without you here, spending weekends together. Leila added new pictures to the site. There is one of you and I at my Winter Formal my freshman year. There are also ones of the three of us and of just you and Claudia. Well, I better be letting you go BUDDY. I have to go get ready for practice. I Love You Brother! =) LOVE ALWAYS, your lil sis/buddy, MeLiSsA
Melissa Robledo <Malika1212@cs.com>
Downey, Ca USA - Sunday, January 19, 2003 at 11:21:39 (PST)

Id Just like to let the family know that my heart goes out to all of you guys... i recently lost a brother and its very hard i know but hes in a better place now...we just got to keep the memories alive and remember all the good times that everyone had together and to his mother...my heart goes out to you its not going to be easy i know but keep ya head up....Dear momma don't cry, your baby boy's doin good Tell the homies I'm in heaven and they ain't got hoods~Tupac Shakur(THUGS MANSION)
JESSICA <JAYV1771@AOL.COM>
SANTA ANA , CA USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 21:59:17 (PST)

~i know you dont know me i just wanted to say rest in peace paul and to his mother your son is in a good place now and you have a special angel protecting you and your family that will never leave your side~ james and na asia
james and na asia <diamond10x2@aol.com>
brooklyn, ny USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 22:14:47 (PST)

Hi Mijo, I could not sleep so I thought I would send you a note. Well I hope you had a good time Saturday night. It turn ed out very nice. On that note I think WE will THANK EVERYONE who joined us. For everyone who paticipated, contributed, and sponsored, and of course supported/assisted me in making Paul Jr fundraiser a great success. I very much appreciate all everyone has done. Donations are still being collected, A final count is expected at the end of the week (around 1/18). Again, My sincere Thanks to ALL of YOU. Ok, my Angel, I must get back to bed, good night Mijo. Forever In My Heart.
I LUV U MIJO, Mom <mijoimisu@aol.com>
USA - Monday, January 13, 2003 at 01:04:58 (PST)

Hi Mijo, I couldn't sleep, Jr. I miss you so much. I think of you all the time. I just can't stop. So bad I yearn to hold you, touch you, kiss you, hug you, even yell at you. Something, Anything! Even though I know you are with me ALL the time, I want you here!. I better go back to bed. "OH MY ANGEL", spead you beautiful wings. Good nite Son.
I LUV U MIJO, Mom <mijoimisu@aol,com>
day 188, USA - Saturday, January 11, 2003 at 03:35:57 (PST)

Oh My Angel, an new year is here and how empty I feel. Over and over I ask how am I expected to enter a new year, and after 17 years I am to enter it alone? It just doesnt make and sense, youre not here. Why????? No kind of answer is going to justify it nor is it going acceptable. It just isnt. Sometimes I feel like a touch of reality, on the other hand it feels like my worst nightmare. There are days I question my reason for being here. I know it sounds crazy, (being self-destructive is not the answer) however I know you are always with me, and I know it probably is driving you crazy that I am always crying. It just is not easy. Mijo, you are part of me and when you left, a big part of me left with you. All I can do is try ok and I will try. I just want you to know how glad I am youre my son and how lucky I think the world is to have had you in it. You earned respect because you honor commitment, and people.
I LUV U MIJO, Mom <mijoimisu@aol.com>
USA - Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 02:07:59 (PST)

Merry Christmas buddy. Wish you were here to share it with us. Much love!!!! Miss you!!!! ~M
m
long beach, ca USA - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 16:09:51 (PST)

"Oh My Angel" come back to me.
I LUV U MIJO, Mom <mijoimisu@aol.com>
USA - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 04:43:39 (PST)

paul i will miss you as if you where my own flesh and blood you were always a good friend and a great person just to be around. i will never forget your smile everytime we seen eacth other and how we always showed love to each other and for that i will never forget you i will always be your "sista" love ya paul you shall never be forgotten
ASHLEY WILLIAMS <www.babygarfield2002w@yahoo.com>
long beach, ca USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 13:55:16 (PST)

Even though I didn't know Paul that well, he was always a nice person and always had a smile on his face. I will miss him dearly.
Brandi <Hottie4rmPoly2004@yahoo>
Long Beach, Ca USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 12:05:34 (PST)

Hey BBBUUUDDDDDDYYY!! There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you and all the times we spent together. You are my best friend and my "brother". You were always there when I needed you and you always had a way to make things better when I never thought they could be. Before you had gotten your job, we would talk every night right before it was Claudia's turn to talk to you. But when you received your new job, we talked less than usual, but you still found a way to call me on your break or even while you were stocking the shelves. Even if it was only for five minutes, I still treasured our times talking to each other. My family and I think about you often and share our memories about you with each other. Ever since my parents met you, all they could say were good things about you. Especially how polite and respectful you were. You should be happy now, that my parents compare you to all the guys and you know how my dad can be. He has high standards for guys, all because he bases then on how you were. No one can ever be like you, so it will take a lot to please my dad. Just be happy to know that your place in my family can never be taken away from you (even though you tried taking Claudia's place). You will always be the number one guy in the family through my parents eyes. I've known you for about two years now and every moment with you is priceless. We had our good and bad times, but the good ones stand out more. I miss our wrestling matches in my front yard late at night and I miss kicking your butt at it too. You know Claudia and I always won (Adrian even knows it too, but he just doesn't want to say anything =). Claudia and I miss spending every weekend with you, whether we stayed at my house and got your favorite Jack-In-The-Box chicken fingers or if we went out somewhere. Claudia and I try our best to go visit you as often as we can. Claudia often dreams about you and receives signs that you are around her. Always be with her and I, and never leave our sides. Every time we go to Kaiser to volunteer, we always remember the time that you and Adrian came and surprised us. We thought that was so sweet of you guys to come see us at work. But little did we know, that all you two wanted to do was kick out butts and steal things. The worst part was that Adrian tried tapping my head with packaging tape and you held Claudia making sure she couldn't get away to help me. You two always knew how to make things fun. Even if it meant for the two of you to kick our butts (which didn't happen very often). You mean so much to Claudia and I. We both miss you terribly. Lately, things haven't been to good for Claudia and I, especially for Claudia. I've tried my best to be there for her, but it's not the same since you're gone. There is something missing in both of us, and it's YOU. She misses you so much, as do I. She loves you with all her heart and thinks about you all of the time. She needs you more than ever right now. Just watch over her (as you always do) as she is in Mexico right now burying her grandfather. Bring her back home to me safely, because I don't know what I would do with both of my best friends gone. I miss you with all my heart and I am thinking of you always. Love your BUDDY and your "lil sis", *Melissa*
Melissa Robledo <Malika1212@cs.com>
Downey, Ca USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 21:45:27 (PST)

I had the pleasure of meeting Jr., throught my niece/God-daughter Melissa. He was a perfect Gentleman.
connie burt <conchlu68@hotmail.coom>
norwalk, ca USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 17:35:47 (PST)

As I look at our old pictures, my soul and heart overflow with joy and sorrow. The feeling was so great when I use to hold you. You are more precious than jewels or gold. This is a bond so strong that it can never be broken. I miss you Paul, I wish you were here right now. Remember Paul, Peter and I will remember you always and forever.We send you our love, with many kisses and hugs. Take care of my little angel. Rest in peace always and forever.
Eleiana (Ely) Ferrer
Long Beach, California USA - Sunday, December 08, 2002 at 16:59:26 (PST)

Paul another month has passed and I remember that terrible day.The day of your annniversary was a bittersweet day, well also a bittersweet week. I have been thinking of you often, along with the anniversary of your passing I was supposed to celebrate my mother's birthday and say farewell to one of my dearest friends. Unfortunately I have lost another friend. She was a good person just like you, yet there is no one like u JR. She was a good person, one of the best,like u. Today they buried her and all I could think of was u. Someone told me that God only takes the best. All i could do was cry more,until I thought well then she will be greeted by the best. Paul I know she is up in heaven with you. I take great comfort in knowing someone as wonderful as you will be taking care of her. I have been talking to you alot this week, I couldn't think of any one better to listen to me. If you were here you would've listened too. JR when you see my friend tell her i love her and that i miss her. Now when I look up to heaven there will be two angels smiling down on me, u and jeslyn. "Friends are God's way of taking care of us." Thank u JR for taking care of me.
Cristina <PyNkPiZaZZ83@aol.com>
Norwalk, CA USA - Saturday, December 07, 2002 at 18:59:37 (PST)

A few months before youre life was taken Chloe, yourself and I went to Costco to pick up some film that I had developed. As usual, I turned in several rolls of film and had several to find and look through. All of us looked through the pictures and found one roll that had several pictures that were of nothing or not clear. I told you, It sucks that I have to pay for this roll when none of the pictures are good. You said, So dont, just put it back. So you took the roll I gave you and put it back. When we got home we discovered that I had gave you the wrong set of pictures - I had the pictures that were of nothing and not clear and not the ones I wanted. We laughed and I said do you remember where you put them? You said, Yeah, somewhere between A-Z. Our next visit to Costco was a long one because we split up and looked through several letters to find the roll of film that we purposely misplaced. No luck - we didnt find the pictures. Last month we received a call from the company that develops Costcos film saying they had found our pictures and told us where to send the money if we wanted them. Its been about 8 months since I saw the pictures and I couldnt remember what they were of. This week we received the film and when I looked at the pictures I did nothing but cry, because most of them were of you. Ironically, they were taken where you are now buried. I cant believe that the same place where we often visited Grandma is now where you are laid to rest. I miss you so much. When I wake up all that I wish for is that Id fall asleep again because you keep coming to me in my dreams. The only good thing about waking up is that I still feel your presence. When I listen to rap music in the car loudly, or as you would say, bump, Im doing it for you because I know if you were here, thats what we would be listening to. Chloe talks about you often. She even carries a framed picture of you around the house. She talks to you and even puts the picture on the ground while I exercise, saying that Paul wants to exercise too. Our lives will never be the same; the house is so quiet with out you. I hate knowing that I will never watch you chase Chloe around the house or be able to watch you and Keith have many of your man to man conversations. Every Friday when my Mom (Nina), Chloe and I go out to eat we miss you terribly. We are trying to do the same things but a huge part of us is missing. The spark in all of us is gone. What I hate most of all is that the daughter we will have in January will never know the wonderful cousin she has. We wont let her get away with it though; in fact we are going to name her Elena Paul. You are forever in our hearts and one day well all be together again. I promise Ill cook you my famous burritos and french fries. I love you and miss you terribly.

To all of Pauls Friends and Family the pictures Ive been speaking of have been added to the website. Should anyone have any pictures that they would like to add to the site, please e-mail me.
Leila <krussadams@aol.com>
Long Beach, CA USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 20:57:03 (PST)

(147) Hi Mijo, I sit here thinking of you. Still I wonder Why? Yet no answers. Mijo I miss you so much. I often wonder...My biggest fear has slapped me when I least expected, it didn't matter how much I was "all up in yos". I again often question, now what? What is next? I wish you were here, we all miss you. I love you Jr. My "Still Fly".
Forever In My Heart, Mom <mijoimisu@aol.com>
L.B., Ca USA - Saturday, November 30, 2002 at 22:51:20 (PST)

I listen to the song a million times while I think of this time or that time, when we were here or there, when we laughed at this or that, and when we shared how sad/mad/embarresed we were about our lives at our so called home. We wanted just to be normel, like the other people at school. Remember when were wanted to have a party and then we didn't want to take nobody to where we lived. I wish we could takl like that now. You were the only one who understod. Be kool there like you were here. I now so many people who wished they were like you. It dont seem like a holdiay this year. I wish you were with me now.
I Wish, I Wish
USA - Saturday, November 30, 2002 at 17:01:32 (PST)

Your hopes and dreams came colliding all in one night Everything went so wrong when everything seemed so right A life you loved was taken and someone we loved was stolen We can't seem to understand and we can't fix something that has been broken, a mothers dream is gone and a fathers hope was destroyed All that's left are memories, but memories last a lifetime Wonderful memories, happy ones, silly ones and proud ones We can't turn back time, but we can hold on to the precious memories, and at the end of the day when all is done Your mother who loved you, her only son has to ask why? I did my job I tought him right from wrong, so why do I have to lie in bed every night and cry? Your father has to grief and say you never did anything wrong, so why you my son, and how will my life be the same without you, help me to be strong Now with all your wisdom and the heavens above, show us how to survive, let us know you are at peace and this world you leave behind can't compare to the heavens where you can spread your beautiful wings Be an angel in heaven just as you were here on earth Rest in peace sweet angel
JF
ca USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 19:56:38 (PST)

Thinking of you Mijo.
I LUV U MIJO, Mom <mijoimisu@aol.com>
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 19:22:07 (PST)

(Day 142) My Angel, I could't sleep, I have you heavily on my mind (so much). I miss you Jr. I feel so lost,so alone,empty. There is a big part of me missing. Why did this have to happen? I feel I would rather be where you are,(its just a feeling)but without you, what/who am I? Mijo, I wish we could turn back the hands of time, This feels like a "F'en" nightmare!. I wish you would come back home. Mijo, I miss u so much it hurts. I watch your videos and just hearing your voice, brings me tears, at time brings me smiles and laughter. I still yearn to hold you Mijo.---I think i better go. I'm always thinking of you Mijo, FOREVER IN MY HEART.
I LUV U MIJO, Mom <mijoimisu@aol.com>
Long Beach, CA USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 02:30:54 (PST)

Paul was a great friend and i will always remember that smile he gave everytime he said hello. when i walk in the 300 building @ poly i remember when he used to stan against the lockers and say HI!
Rosa garcia <None>
Long Beach, Ca USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 09:30:38 (PST)

My condolences go out to the family. A friend of yours gave me this website. I lost my son March 10, 2001 to a shooting also, no words could describe what your going through. As I have read some of the articles that are on this website your son reminds me so much of my own son it sounds like they where quiet similar in there personality. My prayers and thoughts go out to you and your family. May God Bless you
Cherie LaPointe <cherielapointe@msn.com>
Las Flores, CA USA - Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 11:49:55 (PST)

My Dearest Angel, In a few minutes it will mark 123 day since you left us. How I miss you so much. As I was putting together your Sr. memory book, I came across the card I gave you for graduation. Who would of known it was going to be the last card you would touch from me. It seemed to touch both of us. So I thought I would send it to you again. A Very Special Poem for My Son... If I were to tell you all the reasons you mean so much to me, It would take me thousands of cards--to convey how proud I am of you. How much you make me smile, and how often you are in my thoughts... Mijo, right before my eyes, you have grown up so much on you way to becoming the special person you are today. From a baby, to a young man, you were full of life and filled with surprises. Trying to keep up with you has been many things; rewarding, challenging, hopeful, and fulfilling. In every one of your years, you have given me more happiness and love than most people will ever dream of. As Mom and Son, we have walked along many paths on our way from yesterday to where we are today. Love has always been our companion, keeping us close even when weve been apart. You have given me many gifts on that journey. But none are more precious, Son, than the smiles you give to my heart. With Love from Your Mother, Always and Forever In My Heart. I love you Mijo.oxoxo & Huggggs.
I Mis You Mijo, Mom <mijoimisu@aol.com>
Long Beach, CA USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 23:11:13 (PST)

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