If only...
one of many missing you
USA - Saturday, July 03, 2004 at 19:12:47 (PDT)(724)Hi Mijo, I here at work with you strongly on my mind. About this time my mood seems to drop. I still wait for you to knock on the door to my department. I miss you so much Mijo. I have to get back to work. Love you Mom
PaulJr.zMom
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 11:28:19 (PDT)hey paul still cant get over this nightmare i miss you so much Jacob is getting so big i just hope he grows up just like you to respect everyone like you did he is two now and he is so big i all ways still think to this day that i am going to run into you and talk about everything you missed out on you know how much i miss you talkin about me. i am trying to do the best i can with jacob. i know you told me it wasnt going to be easy but i am trying we love you
Liz Hernandez <mzlizzie05@yahoo.com>
Long Beach, Ca USA - Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 19:02:33 (PDT)Hi Mijo, Thinking of you. I miss you so much that I can't stop thinking of you. I love you Mom
PaulJr.zMom
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 15:13:22 (PDT)(705) Hi Mijo, I'm here at work thinking of you. I just keep thinking of when we were getting you ready for graduation. It seems like it was just yesterday. Sometimes I feel like I am stuck in a timewarp of 2002. I miss you so much Mijo. Tonight is Adrian's is graduation. I know you will be there with us. I am so proud of you guys. Mijo, I know you would be so proud of him too. Bless him and keep him safe and out of harms way. Forever Loving you Son, Mom. "Oh my Angel, Come back to me"
PaulJr.zMom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Thursday, June 10, 2004 at 11:10:57 (PDT)(702)Hi Mijo, Still missing you! Again our dumb computer at home got the "worm". It's being fixed and cleaned up. I guess that is what they call it. Well I gave out two more Scholarships in your name. The students were so grateful. As for myself, I still wish like hell you were here. I miss you so much Mijo. I love you and I am always thinking of you. Mom
PaulJr.zMom <RZuniga@memorialcare.org>
USA - Monday, June 07, 2004 at 19:26:33 (PDT)(689) Hi Mijo, I'm at work with you on my mind. Just wanted to tell you that I am thinking of you. I miss you Son. Love you Mom
pauljrzMom
USA - Tuesday, May 25, 2004 at 12:35:18 (PDT)(Day 681)Hi Mijo, Thinking of you, Forever Mom. Oh my Angel I miss you so much.
PaulJrzMom
USA - Monday, May 17, 2004 at 17:33:30 (PDT)(674) Hi Mijo, Well again that dumb computer got a worm/bug whatever that computer lingo is. Needless to say that I have not been able to send you mail, but I know you see what I write in our journal. Well I survived yesterday, it just seemed like a long day to night. I am glad it's over. I am grateful to you. It was you my Son who made me who I am today and forever will be. I love Mijo, you are my sunshine, My only sunshine!I miss you so much! Mom
PaulJr.zMom <RZuniga@memorialcare.org>
USA - Monday, May 10, 2004 at 19:04:49 (PDT)hey paul just want to say that i still miss you. And you know how much i still think of you. Im pretty sure that everytime that i talk aloud to you, you probably say there we go again. I like your new site. well paul i have to go
loves you yuridia..
yuridia
rialto , ca USA - Friday, April 23, 2004 at 18:58:01 (PDT)(645) HAPPY EASTER MIJO. Right now i'm not to sure what I want to say. I know you will have a good one. This year I'm not sure if I could psyic myself out. Pretty much this is how I get through the weekend however it did not this time. I am missing you so much Son, it has become harder to swallow. I just keep saying to myself "God, This can't be true". I know I have got to except it, but it is all so easier said than done. Of course this normally comes from those who have never lost their "OWN" child. Just know Mijo, I am and will keep doing the best I can, all to Honor you and in Memory of You. Oh My Angel, I love you so much...Forever, Mom
Paul Jr.z Mom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Sunday, April 11, 2004 at 07:30:14 (PDT)(640) Thinking of you Mijo, I could hear you now saying "what else is new Mom" I just miss you so much. I Love you Mijo, Mom
Paul Jr'z Mom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Tuesday, April 06, 2004 at 15:27:20 (PDT)(639) Hi Mijo, I'm still at work trying to get through this day. All I do is think of you. It's so hard for me because I just drift off and find it hard to concentrate. I don't like being in my ownshoes. And now the time has changed and that doesn't help my situation. Well Mijo, I best get back to work. You are always on my mind Son. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. i Love you Mom.
Paul Jr'z Mom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Monday, April 05, 2004 at 15:02:11 (PDT)HEY PAUL I MISS YOU, I CAN'T HELP TO THINK IF THINGS WOULD BE BETTER FOR ALL OF US OR AT LEAST FEEL LIKE IT, IF YOU WOULD BE AROUND, WE ALL MISS YOU NO ONE WILL FORGET YOU I MISS BEING AT THE BENCH JUST LAUGHING LOOKING AT TOES I MISS HIGH SCHOOL PAUL PLEASE WATCH OVER ME AND MY LOVE ONE'S LIKE I DID WHEN THINGS DIDN'T GO GOOD PAUL HOPEFULLY WE MEET AGAIN SO I CAN BEAT YOU IN BASKETBALL THIS TIME!!!!!!!!
PEDRO
LONG BEACH , CA USA - Monday, March 29, 2004 at 12:57:19 (PST)(627) Hi Mijo, I missed up our computer, so I haven't been able e-mail you, but I know you hear me even when I don't. Not much has changed for me lately. It's just been up and down, down and up. Everyday it is a struggle, and it repeats itself day in day out. My heart still aches for you, my world will always be empty and lost without you. I often ask myself "why am living a mother's (parent) worst nightmare"? I still wait for that answer. No parent should EVER have to know this/my pain. Trust me, words can only sometimes comfort me. So bad I still yearn to hold you, hug you, kiss you, rub your big perfect bald head. I just want you to come home, it only I could turn back the hand of time..... Oh, my Angel, My guardian dear, to whom His love commits me here; Every day (or night)be at my side, to light and guard, to rule and guide. I love you Mijo, missing you always 24-7. Forever Mom
PaulJr.zMom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Wednesday, March 24, 2004 at 16:29:17 (PST)Paul, I am missing you very much. There is so many things that remind me of you. I have gone to see you and it only leads to me remembering what a truly amazing friend you were. I picture all our times hanging out at school and just joking around. YOu always said you always had a come back to all my jokes and it really was true. You had such a natural presence with all the bench crew. I miss you tremendously because I cared so much about our friendship. I just am thankful that you visit me in my thoughts and you always give me some kind of comfort. May you be watching over all of us whose lives you touched and may Romy know that I miss her son very much and that I am grateful for her having such an amazing son touch my life.
Perla
Long Beach, CA USA - Monday, March 15, 2004 at 12:02:58 (PST)Paul,
I miss you so much, It's apparrent that I'm not alone by all of the entries on your web-site. I am so touched by how many lives you touched in such a great way. I knew that you were on the phone a lot, but dang I had no idea you talked to so many people. The thing is you didn't just talk, you gave so many people the love and time that so many of us tend to take for granted.
Little Paul, words cannot describe what it feels like with out you. I hope you hear us every night when me and Chloe tell you we love you.
Leila <Krussadams@aol.com>
Norwalk, Ca USA - Thursday, March 11, 2004 at 13:24:20 (PST)(606)Hi Mijo, Just wanted to say Hi,and let you know how much I am missing you. Thinking of you 24-7. I love you, Mom
PAULJR.ZMOM <RZuniga@memorialcare.org>
USA - Wednesday, March 03, 2004 at 14:07:05 (PST)WE MISS YOU ALOT JR. Mom still yells at us. She sometimes gets our names mixed up and call us JR!, MIJO!, PAUL JR., DAM YOU JR!, after a roll call of all your names she finally get our names right then she start to weep. We try to keep her busy and on her toes. Its gets real quiet at home somtimes, so me and your chingadera just play. I miss you not being here to make me bark and make Mom mad. Flace told me that she misses you because no one is here to protect her from Mom or your Lil Chingadera. Mom makes sure that she (Flaca) don't get locked outside since you been gone. I thinks she knows that she won't hear her if she is asleep. Just wanted to let you know that we all miss you Jr. We will Love you forever Snoopy, Flaca, & Cujo(Chiquito your Lil Chingadera). You will always be our Big Brother JR.
Paul Jrz. Family <Snoopy, Flaca, & Cujo>
USA - Tuesday, February 24, 2004 at 15:07:49 (PST)(597)Hi Mijo, I am here at work listening to the radio and a song that you liked a lot came on. It’s title is “I Belong To You” by Rome. The memories I have of that song are of when you would sing that song to me about Armida. You were in the 8th grade. You used to like that song a lot. It brought me a teary chuckle. I miss you Mijo. Forever Mom
PaulJr.zMom <RZuniga@memorialcare.org>
USA - Monday, February 23, 2004 at 17:51:52 (PST)Hi Mijo, I'm ready to go to bed and I just wanted to say good nite. I miss you Son. I Love you Mom.
PaulJrzMom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Tuesday, February 10, 2004 at 23:40:31 (PST)Hey paul im here missing you very much hoping you were here sometimes I wish it was a bad dream a lie or something but its either i cant come back to reality or its just the truth... I'll write to you later keep an eye on all of us that miss youeveryday and love you lotz ok ........ Mayra <bugsbunny90805@yahoo.com>
Long Beach, Ca USA - Monday, February 09, 2004 at 12:12:04 (PST)(day 578)Hi Mijo, I thinking of you. I miss you so much. I miss you not coming to my job to bring me lunch. I will probally feel like this for the rest of my life. I am feeling so numb right now. Oh My Angel, I will always miss you. I love you Son, Mom
PaulJrz.Mom <RZuniga@memorialcare.org>
USA - Wednesday, February 04, 2004 at 13:31:12 (PST)(day 572) Hi Mijo, How is my Angel? As I was wathching t.v., I'm feeling your warmth. Its making me feel so sad because I want to hear you, hold you, feel you, touch you, hug you, smell you. The hole in my heart feel so empty. I want so bad to cry, but my tears won't come. I have a headache, cause I want this to be a bad dream and it is really real. I feel so helpless. I can't understand why I am feeling this way right now. Oh Mijo I miss you so much. Why us? I would give everything and anything to give you a 2nd chance at life again. I am feeling so overwhelmed right now. I love you Son, and I am always missing you. Mom
PaulJrzMom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Thursday, January 29, 2004 at 22:25:21 (PST)Hey Paul here I am writing to you,missing you like always...We have finals starting today but i'm a Teacher aide and have nothing to do and i was here THINKING of you well dont forget to watch over us at all times Mayra <bugsbunny90805@yahoo.com>
Long Beach, Ca USA - Wednesday, January 21, 2004 at 09:01:30 (PST)(day 563) Hi Mijo, Missing you always. Oh My Angel I Miss You So Much. I Love You, Mom
PaulJr.zMom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Tuesday, January 20, 2004 at 17:44:55 (PST)Hey Jr. Just here in computer class thinking of u. I'm always missing u Buddy. Watch over me in all I do. Always and Forever your Buddy. MUAHZ
Melissa <Malika1212@cs.com>
Downey, CA USA - Friday, January 16, 2004 at 11:46:17 (PST)(day 558)Hi Mijo, I'm trying to get through my day, it just seems that all I do is think of you. I miss you so much Jr, I dread the thought of the evening. Forever loving you Son, Mom. "Oh My Angel" I will never forget you, lots of huggs and kisses.
PaulJrzMom <RZuniga@memorialcare.org>
USA - Thursday, January 15, 2004 at 14:19:44 (PST)Hey Paul im here at school checking in with you .... I was thinking about you today... i talked to your mom the other day we both miss you so much make sure you watch over her at all times you are TRULY MISSED here by all... Mayra <bugsbunny90805@yahoo.com>
long beach, ca USA - Friday, January 09, 2004 at 08:04:50 (PST)Hi paul. I'm at school right now but I was thinking about u.. love u alwayz
Mayra Mendez
Long Beach, Ca USA - Monday, January 05, 2004 at 08:34:50 (PST)(Day 547)Happy New Year Mijo. I finally got my computer working again. Something was wrong and I couldn't figure it out, it turn out that it was with something I had tried to download. I am computer dumb so I did not want to mess with it. Anyways, How is my angel doing. Good as always. As for myself, well we know I have to do my best for what ever the situation may be. I just miss you so much and always will. Loving you forever Mijo. Mom
PaulJrz.Mom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Sunday, January 04, 2004 at 14:38:37 (PST)Paul I miss you
kiki
Cpt, Ca USA - Friday, January 02, 2004 at 15:11:23 (PST)Hey there babe!!! I really miss you alot... not a day goes by I dont think about you and all the crazy things you did to keep me happy...the best thing in my life was you and being your girlfriend...I haven't forgotten that crazy name you name you gave me(Puddles) only me and you know the srory so lets keep it that way...Happy New Year...Guess what??I enlisted in the Army... I'll be leaving July 27,2004 I wish you were here...but hopefully you'll be watching over me...I love you always and forever...
Mayra
Compton, ca USA - Friday, January 02, 2004 at 15:08:47 (PST)HEY JR. HAPPY NEW YEAR. IT'S JUS NOT SO HAPPY WITH YOU NOT HERE TO SHARE IT WITH ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO TRULY LOVE YOU. I MISS YOU EVERYDAY AND WILL ALWAYS HAVE YOU IN MY HEART. love, ur "lil sis"/buddy.....MeLiSsA
MELISSA <MALIKA1212@CS.COM>
DOWNEY, CA USA - Thursday, January 01, 2004 at 16:56:41 (PST)peace
your pal forever
USA - Wednesday, December 31, 2003 at 13:56:16 (PST)(day 541) Hi Mijo, I am finishing baking your favorite cookies. Like if I really need that extra weight. At times I can't beleive this is reality. I still wish this was a bad dream, even though it is the lonliest one can possibly have. I have so much to tell you. I so much want to hear what you think. When I was unsure of something, you would help me decide and now, well....Mijo, I miss you so much. I will never stop thinking of you, nor crying for you. My heart is aching. I love you Son, Mom
Paul Jr.z Mom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Monday, December 29, 2003 at 22:54:19 (PST)I don't have much to say but to me Paul was a true friend. I looked up to him as a bigger brother, someone who was there when you were down and would make u happy. He was a true friend who I knew for only 3yrs or so, but seemed like I knew him my whole life. I miss him alot, he was a big part of my life and still is he will always be in my thoughts. R.I.P Paul
T.J.
L.B., Ca USA - Monday, December 29, 2003 at 21:38:29 (PST)(Day 537) Merry Christmas Mijo, I know your having a good time up there in heaven. It's x-mas and it feels like just another day in the year. Your are the Merry in my christmas and now, well...I'm glad the day is amost over. I wasnt sure about anything as this holiday approached. I just know I felt a real empty and lost. I miss you so much Mijo. 24-7. "Oh My Angel" forever in my heart. Mom
PaulJrzMom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 17:44:36 (PST)Im sorry about what happened not a day goes by i dont think about you paul ilove and miss you
Mayra <bugsbunny90805@yahoo.com>
Long Beach, Ca USA - Tuesday, December 16, 2003 at 09:21:20 (PST)Hi Mijo, Its Sunday and a new week is headed. As the holidays are approaching, I am very much dreading it again. Holidays without you are just another day for me. I debated all weekend about putting up the lights, putting up a tree and all that stuff. (last year I put nothing up). So what I did, got a live little tree that (looks, smells, and feels) like a x-mas tree and I decorated it without lights (I could) and I put the a couple of the bows me and you made with the yearly orniments that we collected every year (the little figurine collection). The part of me that is still exsisting knows if you were still here on this cruel world with me, we would have put up the tree, and I still feel you. On the other hand, it seemed everywhere I looked (last year) then and now I seeing happy faces, family enjoying their kids shopping to get ready for that day and all I had was memories. All I could do was remember how we used to do all that. I even thought how could anyone be enjoying this, what is there to be "jolly" about...and on that day when My Baby was not around and not here nor there, it was real hard, I just wanted to die too. For a minute, I forgot that everyone else did have a life (thier own world) and had gone on, it was my world that had stopped, it was my heart left with a hole, and it was I, me left childless. You are what put the "merry" in my christmas and the "happy" in my holidays. Part of me died too when you died, and that is how I felt and still feel now. I just wish it would hurry and pass. I also remember not wanting to be around any kids or teens it just wasn't fair. I just am not feelin' it, and I am not sure I want to. I saddens me and breaks my heart so much every time I think about all you were stripped of. That was a nice message left. It reminded me of when we were going to magic mountain and you put lotion on your cheecks before you mooned them on the freeway. Good thing your ass was clean. Remember when you would go outside in your "stroking skirt" and drop it on the porch? Cochino! Well I guess Snoopy and your Chingadera keep on looking at me and Flace is meowing, they want to go outside to potty. then I am going to bed. Mijo, I miss you so much, it is so hard me not to ask why. why? It's just not fair. I will always miss you, Oh my Angel, and I will always love you. Mom
PaulJrzMom (day526) <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Sunday, December 14, 2003 at 23:59:38 (PST)Like Paul, I'm a mooner. I find the human butt highly amusing. So while doing a Lycos search of "mooning" I came across this site. I saw the video and laughed. I looked at the pics and began recognizing Paul as a real person. I even started thinking that I was going to contact this guy and give him the links to my mooning pics and video so he could laugh at me too. While looking for the "contacts" link I saw "Eulogies" and wondered what that was. By this point I liked Paul and thought he and I might become internet buddies. So I was saddened when I realized that my potential new friend is no longer with us. This may seem strange but in the few moments it took to explore this site my life was touched by how light-hearted and fun-loving Paul seemed to be. I'll never be able to understand your loss but I do share in your mourning. To think that a 17 year old won't have the chance to discover what he might do with this life makes me angry, and to see that others loved him enough to share his life with the rest of us in this way encourages me. Thanks for this site; I've bookmarked it and will check back to learn more about Paul.
Chris Joyner <jchristopherjoyner@yahoo.com>
Port Royal, SC USA - Friday, December 12, 2003 at 22:19:21 (PST)(day 523) Hi Mijo, I can't stop missing you Son. This hole in my heart makes me feel so empty. A part of me is dead. Jr. These tears just start pouring. Sometimes it is harrd for them to stop. I wish is was all a bad dream. I love you Mijo. Mom
PaulJr.zMom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Thursday, December 11, 2003 at 23:04:58 (PST)I am truly sorry for the pain you have suffered.I only met Paul a couple of times.He didn't say go away or anything.he talked to me and made me feel cool.I will always miss him.
samantha nielsen(missyniece) <soccer_krazy16@hotmail.com>
lakewood\downey, california USA - Sunday, December 07, 2003 at 16:39:12 (PST)hi Paul. Damn i have not wrote because till this day i can not believe this is true. I still remember when we were little. Especially when you called me papaya. I liked hang out with you those late nights, just talking and chillings.
Lupe <qlupe001@hotmail.com>
Long Beach, CA USA - Sunday, December 07, 2003 at 10:27:04 (PST)Hi Mijo, like always I'm thinking of you.
PaulJr.zMom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Sunday, November 30, 2003 at 18:07:01 (PST)Hi Mijo, I'm missing you. I was watching 8Mile its your kind of movie, I wish you were here with me like old times. Its so hard to try not to think of the things we used to do together. Forever loving you Mom
Paul Jr.z Mom 505 <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Sunday, November 23, 2003 at 16:27:02 (PST)Oh My Angel, you are always on my mind. I was journaling you so I thought I would pop in and say HI. Forever missing you, Mom
PaulJr.zMom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Wednesday, November 19, 2003 at 23:47:20 (PST)Hi Mijo, I catch myself talking to you but out loud (when I'm by myself) and at times I feel like if someone hears me their going to think I'm crazy and I know I'm not. It's only because I feel you so near and here and I miss you so much. Mijo, I know you would be excited that 2Pac has a movie coming out. Your icon. I was watching the premier of the movie and it seems very interesting. What timing because I was just reading you’re report and your newspaper article you did on him when you were in the 6th grade. I have so much on my mind again. My brain/mind feels like a pound of M&M's. A whole lot of different colors all mixed up in there. So often I get asked about how I feel about that monster being found guilty. Well to answer that question, I don't know how I feel. Numb, relieved that noone else will be hurt by this coward...overall I don't know. Comfort? No, it doesn't give me any comfort because you still don't get to come home because of him. On the other hand this monster (punk-ass) is off the street. I knew all along that he had something to do with Insane, it only confirmed what I already knew, that that there was a connection. Anyways I still hold his parents responsible for his actions. As parents, our child(ren) are our responsibility till 18. His Mom tried to tell me that "the bible said that we are only responsible for our children till they are 13". You could imagine what spark she ignited. (I began feeling anxious). But before she said that (I do believe she was sincere) in what she said before she tried to quote the bible. I had to walk away. I just find it hard to believe that she (his Mom) did not know what her bad seed was up to. How does a parent not know what their minor(s) are up to? A lot of crap going on in their home and they didn't know something was up. Nahh, I can't buy it. I think that his parents should be punished too. I believe that they could have prevented a lot of the harm done by their monster had they paid some attention. I remembered what I was told (that you said) I gave you the ok to get in trouble. Basically, "ok Mijo; try to go to jail". I didn't know what to think, (I just knew it wasn't true) then I wasn't sure if I should ask you, cause I didn't know if maybe you said it as a secret or what. But I had to ask, it just seemed like one of those times that would make you go "hhmmmmm", then when I asked you, I got madder when you said-"Mom, it was a joke, why do you take everything so serious?". Well Mijo, maybe it was a joke but it wasn't funny. So to make a long story short, if something does not seem right (the boss) should ask. So what if the boss is nosey, they have to be. Remember you would tease me and say I was the "pain in your a--" well like you Mijo, are/were a pain that I will NEVER forget, and I would do ANYTHING if I could have that pain again. Like one of your nuts. (haha, member that Yo,momma book). Well Mijo, you know where I'm coming from, I could just see you looking at me like "are you done". Ahhh, yes I am, now that I got that off my chest I guess I better go to bed now.I’ll be loving you forever. . Oh my Angel, I miss you. Mom
PaulJr.zMom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
Day 492, USA - Tuesday, November 11, 2003 at 00:41:52 (PST)Hi Mijo, I was putting some papers in order and I just had to say I MISS YOU SO MUCH. Mom
PaulJrzMom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net`>
USA - Saturday, November 08, 2003 at 19:53:42 (PST)Hi Mijo, Thinking of You. I miss you so much. Mom Paul Jr.z Mom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Monday, November 03, 2003 at 19:12:13 (PST)Thinking of you Mijo. PaulJr.zMom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Sunday, November 02, 2003 at 19:28:55 (PST)(day480)Hi Mijo, Another lonely day missing you. "Oh my Angel" I'll always love you. Mom
PaulJr.zMom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Wednesday, October 29, 2003 at 14:08:47 (PST)Hi Mijo, I am feeling like an overwhelmed NUMB NUT. I have been feeling like this since Tuesday. I keep getting asked if I feel and comfort, or releif. I don't feel...I'm not sure how I am supposed to be feel. I'm glad that this
Monster is off the street who knows how many other lifes and families he would of hurt. However your still not coming back. It freakin angers me so much that his funky ass is still has a chance to breath, and you don't, because of him. I just don't understand Who he thought died and made him God. Where was his mother during all this? Oh Mijo, these past 21/2 weeks have been so over whelming. Well Mijo, I better go to bed now, at least try. I still hold you very close to my heart and always will. I know you are with me all the way to guide me. Loving you always Son, Mom
P.S. Lots of love from Flaca, Snoopy, and Your Chingadera.
PaulJrzMom <mijo.imisu@verizon.net>
USA - Friday, October 24, 2003 at 02:29:16 (PDT)Hi Mijo, I miss you so much. I'll always LOVE you. Mom
Paul Jr.z Mom
USA - Sunday, October 19, 2003 at 16:52:56 (PDT)Hi Mijo, you are always on my mind. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I will not leave you desolate. Loving you forever Mom
Paul Jr.z Mom
USA - Thursday, October 16, 2003 at 21:50:49 (PDT) HEY PAUL IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME THAT I DO NOT WRITE YOU OR GO VISIT YOU IM SORRY. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY I MOVED FROM WERE I USED TO LIVE. CRAZY UH I FINALLY LEFT LONG BEACH. I STILL GO DOWN THERE ONCE IN A WHILE CUZ IT'S TO FAR AND I HATE DRIVING THAT FAR. IT'S BEEN HARD FOR ALL THIS TIME I WISH WE WERE STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL THAT WAY I COULD SEE YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE WEEK. I THINK OF YOU ALL THE TIME EVEN THOUGH I DON'T WRITE YOU OR VISIT YOU I DON'T DO IT CUZ IT HURTS TO MUCH. IT'S BEEN MORE THAN A YEAR AND I CAN STILL PICTURE YOUR FACE YOUR EXPRESIONS THE WAY YOU WOULD ACT IT IS STILL SO CLEAR IN MY MIND. HEY BY THE WAY I QUIT SAV-ON-DRUGS I GOT A BETTER JOB IM NOT A PHARMACY CLERK IM A PHARMACY TECHNICIAN IM DOING PRETTY GOOD AND IM BACK AT COLLEGE FOR PHARMACIST. WISH ME GOOD LUCK WHO WOULD OF HAD SAID IT HU ME A TECH AND GOING FOR PHARMACIST. PAUL I THINK SOMETIMES IF YOU WERE STILL HERE HOW MUCH FUN WE WOULD HAVE I SAW YOUR PIX WHEN YOUR IN THE POOL BABY I KNOW YOU WOULD LOVE OUR POOL IT'S HUGE IT IS 11'FEET BIG. I KNOW WE WOULD HAVE SO MUCH FUN I TRY TO THINK THAT YOU ARE STILL WITH ME AND EVERYONE WHO LOVED YOU BABY. PAUL WATCH OVER ME I NEED YOU SO MUCH. WERE I MOVED IT GETS SCARY SOMETIMES THE OTHER DAY WHEN I WAS GOING TO WORK COPS WERE CHASING SOME CAR AND ONE OF THE COPS CAR GOT IN FRONT OF THE CAR SO THEY HIT AND THE GUYS STARTED SHOOTING AT THE COPS SO THE COPS SHOT AT THEM TO I WAS ONLY LIKE 2 CARS AWAY FROM ALL OF THAT. I WAS SO SCARED AND NERVOUS AND IT REMINDED ME OF YOU. I MISS YOU SO MUCH SOMETIMES AND QUESTION GOD WHY , WHY YOU IF YOU WERE SO KIND AND SWEET. I MISS YOU SO MUCH MY ANGEL YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART. WATCH OVER ME MY ANGEL .....
YURIDIA <www.ramonrbls@aol.com>
RIALTO, CA USA - Monday, October 13, 2003 at 21:09:51 (PDT)Hi Mijo, Thinking of you still. I miss you so much, this HOLE in my heart is still very painful. Living without you sucks! You are always on my mind and always will be. Forever Mom
PaulJrzMom
USA - Monday, October 13, 2003 at 02:29:29 (PDT)Hi Mijo, I'm just getting ready to go to bed. I hate that the weather is changing. It make me feel like like if i'm in a dark hole alone and can't get out. I feel so alone and lost. Everyone seems to have gotten on with their life, and I think of how lucky they are. No matter how I try it feels like for every 3 steps forward, I go back 2. I know we will be together one day, but one day seems so long away.
Nobody really knows my pain. I often see people with their kids and I miss not having mine. My only baby, how I miss you so much. Although I feel your presence, I want to hold you, touch you, kiss you, and hear you. No matter how close to my heart I hold you, sometimes it's just not enough. Sweet dreams Mijo, Always Missing You, Mom
PaulJrzMom <"OH MY ANGEL" Day 444>
USA - Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 22:50:53 (PDT)Dear Jr.: I miss you so much buddy. Not a day goes by that I dont think of of all the times we spent together, whether they were good or bad, I cherish every moment with you and I will never forget them. My life without you is totally different than from when you were here with me. Now, when ever I do something, I think, "Would Jr. have liked this? Would he have had fun if he was here? Would Jr. approve of this? What would it be like if he was here sharing this moment with me?" All these questions go through my head before I do something, whether it may be a small thing or a big life changing decision, I always think of you Jr. Life for me now is beginning to get very stressful. I need to stay on top of school work, apply to college (kinda skurry), work hard with softball, and everything else that goes along with being a senior and making life decisions. I just wish I had you here to help me out with this and to be by my side when times get tough. You were always there for me when I was going through hard times with family, school, softball, and friends...and now your not and I don't have any one to turn to for help. I know that you know that Claudia and I aren't doing so well right now. Things haven't been the same with her and I since you left us. And I honestly have to say that I don't think it ever will be. I so wish it could be like it used to be, but no effort is put it on her side. I don't know what to do, she's never there anymore and I have no one else to turn to that understands me. It's not easy for me to open up to other people. I try, I really do, but it just doesn't work. I need you, not anybody else. You always knew the right thing to say and the right thing to do to make things all better and for them to go away. I've just been stressing about everything in my life, and I shouldn't be, but I can't help it...I need you here with me to help me make the right decisions. I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit you lately, it's just that I've been so busy with school and softball, that its hard toget everything done. I promise you that I will visit you on Thursday after school, okay Buddy? Watch over me in all I do and keep me safe and from harm. I know you will always be with me through good times and through bad. I miss you so much. You will aways be mi mejor amigo and mi "hermano". I love and miss you Buddy! R.I.P MUAHZ
Melissa (ur Buddy) <malika1212@cs.com>
Downey, Ca USA - Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 22:20:35 (PDT)Hi Mijo, I can't sleep so I thought I would write to you. I just finished wathcing a show on Dolphins and Whales in their world and of course I began to think about our plans up North. Since you were little we had this plan. Why did we wait? We made a pack before you would 25. Our surreal trip. Now its just a ...Oh Mijo I know we would of had a good time. I MISS YOU SO MUCH MIJO. We miss you so much. Me,Flaca and Snoopy are getting old. I'm trying my best not to. As for your Lil Chingaderra, well he is a hand full. He
's got alot of energy. If you thought Snoopy got alot of attention, check out your Baby. He is like a spoild bad boy. He and Snoopy gang up on Flaca, Snoopy gets an attitude when I scold the Bad Boy, and Flaca, well shes is still a moody bitch that only comes out when she feels like it (in the day) but at night she is still wide awake. Well Mijo I am going to try to go to sleep again. Oh My Angel I LOVE YOU and YOU ARE ALWAYS ON MY MIND. Mom
PaulJrzMom
USA - Monday, September 15, 2003 at 02:56:13 (PDT)Hi Mijo, Your are always on my mind. Everything I do, see, hear, watch etc...Includes YOU. I'm watching my 1st Raider game since you left, and of course thinking of you. The fun times we used to have going to the games. I miss you so much. Today is a quiet Sunday. Love you Mijo, Mom
PaulJrzMom
USA - Sunday, September 07, 2003 at 18:50:35 (PDT)I MISS YOU MIJO. FOREVER Mom
PaulJrzMom
USA - Wednesday, September 03, 2003 at 02:36:56 (PDT)Hi Mijo, It's a real mellow day. Just thought I would holla at you to let you know that I never stop thinking of you. I miss you so much Mijo, it's boring so lets get out. I LOVE YOU, Mom
PaulJrzMom
USA - Monday, September 01, 2003 at 16:02:49 (PDT)Hi Mijo, Just wanted to say and tell you that you are strongly on my mind. Oh Mijo, there is so much I want say to you. I miss you so much. I miss our long conversation, our different point of views etc... I miss it all. Mom
PaulJrzMom
USA - Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 16:02:42 (PDT)Hi Mijo, Just wanted to say "HI" and "I MISS YOU". I'm just not having a good day. I feel you so close, yet you are so far. Oh my Angel, You are always on my mind. I LUV U SO MUCH! Mom
PaulJrzMom <(413)>
USA - Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 20:10:47 (PDT)Hi Mijo, I can't stop thinking about you. I miss you so much. Love you Mom
PaulJrzMom
USA - Tuesday, August 19, 2003 at 18:46:27 (PDT)Hi Mijo, I just wanted to say I MISS YOU, and I LOVE YOU! There is not a minute that goes by that you are not on my mind. Oh, My Angel I am always thinking of you. Forever Mom
PaulJr.zMom <404>
USA - Thursday, August 14, 2003 at 12:15:58 (PDT)Mijo I'm thinking of you and I couldn't go back to sleep. Today is a year and one month without your giggle. Thirteen months without seeing you smile. I long to hold you close to me so we will never part. Although I know that you're an angel to me and your living in my heart, and I know that you are always here with me and go where ever I go. My days and nights are filled with yearns, longings, and tears. No day or night is without pain. Memories flood my every hour. I cry in vein, and I still don't believe this is real. A year without your kisses and huggs, or hearing you say "Mom, I love you" or "I love you Mom". I am trying to go on. A big VOID just fills my aching, breaking heart. Mijo, when you left part of me went with you, and I don't want to let you go. I know I will see you Mijo, but how long do I have to wait, how long is not for a while? I love you Jr. and I miss you soo much. Mom
PaulJr.zMom
USA - Wednesday, August 06, 2003 at 05:56:04 (PDT)Hi Mijo, As I try to sit and watch t.v, I find myself waiting and wanting the phone to ring. I yearn to hear you. Over and over I look and listen to our video's and tapes, just listening to you laugh, being silly makes me smile, but sad. We miss you Mijo. Snoopy, Flaca, and your Cabron send their love too. I say your name and Flace and Snoopy jump up and run to the door. When I scold your Cabron, it seems I go through a roll call...Mijo, Jr., Snoopy, CABRON!!"YOU BETTER GET OVER HERE, RIGHT NOW"....Seve and Hareem just laugh, sometimes it is funny, but most of the time it is just sad. Thinking of you always Mijo. I love you, and I miss you so much. Mom
PaulJr.zMom
USA - Monday, August 04, 2003 at 20:23:29 (PDT)I love you Mijo. Mom
PaulJr.zMom
USA - Monday, August 04, 2003 at 05:41:25 (PDT)Hi Mijo, I miss you so much. I wanted to Thank You for the validations. I really needed that, it means a lot to me. Maybe now I can find some comfort when I do what I need to do without doubt. I feel I have procrastinated on something's because I wondered, "Would Mijo want me to" or "what would Mijo want". I just wasn't sure, I didn't know what to think. Mijo, I'm just so sorry for allowing you to go over there regardless. I should of made you decline the offer to use whosever's car and just gone to get you. I trusted you were always safe. Now I understand what you meant when we got in an argument around prom time. Your Dad used to say? "A closed mouth don't get fed" and neither you or I said anything and we should of. I now know and understand. I had to know that you still knew that it was never "you" that I did not trust. Even I need to beware of the "other person". I knew one day/someday you would understand my reasons, it just saddens me that we had to get cheated for my "reasons" or "that's why" to be understandable and not just because "I am your Mom" or "because I said so". I still feel confused as "the right thing". If I did do the right thing, then why am I being tortured? Why has "the right thing" backfired? I just don't understand. I guess all that matters is that the "right thing" was/is being done and I should not feel/have NO regrets. Thank you Mijo. It does bring me SOME comfort to know that you are "ok", but I need to know you are "happy" before I can wish for "happy or peace". Oh Mijo, all that said I needed to know, I felt needy for your approval and validation. I know I might sound weird to a reader, but they wouldn't understand anyways, unless they have walked down my path. Hopefully no one will cause it is a lonely, bumpy, touchy, dark, empty, but mostly painful. Mijo, I miss you, my heart feels needy. Needy for you, I yearn to hold you Mijo, I'm always remembering when you were born, and how you got scared and ran and jumped in my bed like a (my) baby. You refused to sleep alone all the way to the day (7/5) that you went to stay at Leila's. If only I could turn back the hands of time. It seems no matter how big the crowd is, I still feel alone, by my-self, empty. Til then I will try to be patient. Again Mijo, I very much appreciate and grateful for it all and for your comforting messages. I LOVE YOU MIJO, Mom
PaulJr.zMom
USA - Tuesday, July 29, 2003 at 00:05:07 (PDT)Hi Mijo, I just wanted to yell out how much I MISS YOU. "Oh My Angel" you are forever on my mind. I LOVE YOU, Mom
PaulJrzMom
USA - Friday, July 25, 2003 at 09:14:05 (PDT)HAPPY 19TH B-DAY JUNIOR YOU WERE REMEMBERED ON THIS DAY AS YOU ARE EVERYDAY. I WENT TO THE BON FIRE THAT THEY HAD FOR YOU THIS PAST SATURDAY WELL AT LEAST TRIED BUT I COULD NOT FIND THEM MAYBE I WASN'T LOOKIN RIGHT! BUT ONE WAY OR THE OTHER YOU WERE BEING THOUGHT OF AND I KNOW THAT YOU WERE THERE WITH EVERYONE. AS THEY WERE THERE WITH YOU SHARING MEMORIES OF YOU. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED PAUL AND I KNOW I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN JUST AS EVERYONE ELSE, UNTIL THEN I KNOW YOU ARE ALWAYS AROUND AND SMILING :) DOWN AT EVERYONE!!!
Nena <elena@primeoneinc.com>
Long Beach, ca USA - Monday, July 21, 2003 at 17:01:21 (PDT)Hi Mijo, Just thinking about how 19 years ago you were the golory of Me and Your Dad. I can still remember today, right now this time in 1984. I miss you so much Jr. I LUV YOU MIJO. Mom
PaulJrzMom
USA - Monday, July 21, 2003 at 00:12:46 (PDT)HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY MIJO.I WILL NEVER FORGET HOW ON THIS DAY I WAS BLESSED WHEN YOU CAME IN TO MY LIFE. MIJO I WILL NEVER STOP MISSING YOU, NOR WILL I STOP YEARNING FOR YOU. YOU ARE MY ANGEL THAT HAS BLESSED ME, OH MIJO I MISS YOU SO MUCH.I CARRY VERY CLOSE TO MY HEART. I LUV YOU MIJO. "MY STILL FLY" Mom
PAULJRzMOM
USA - Saturday, July 19, 2003 at 13:23:14 (PDT)Hi Mijo, I was laying here reminiscing of all our memories. Oh Mijo, You are the BEST thing that EVER happend to me. I will NEVER forget you Mijo. I clearly remember this time 19 years ago. I LUV YOU MIJO, Mom
PaulJrzMom <(378) (oops for typos)>
USA - Saturday, July 19, 2003 at 02:53:26 (PDT)Hi Mijo, I can't get you off my mind.I miss you so much. I can't let you go, I don't want to let you go Mijo, you were all I had. I LUV U. Mom
PaulJrzMom <(372)>
USA - Sunday, July 13, 2003 at 22:37:29 (PDT)I can't stop thinking about you Mijo, I miss you so much.
Paul Jrz Mom <(370)>
USA - Sunday, July 13, 2003 at 06:19:14 (PDT)Always thinking of you Mijo. Forever on my mind. "Oh My Angel" I LUV U.
PaulJr.zMom <(270)>
USA - Friday, July 11, 2003 at 16:47:17 (PDT)Free Spirit. . .
Free spirit flying in the wind
Full of beauty and life
Child of a vision
That was filled with strife.
Some say he’s gone,
Never to be seen a-gain. . .
But if true hearts know love
Then they know its simple and plain. . .
“If you love it,
Then it’s never gone”
Free spirit flying in the wind,
Full of beauty and never ending life.
Alejandro “El” Ruiz
7-9-03
Dedicated to the free spirit that was, is, and continues to be, as long as we remember him. . .
Paul Griego Jr.
Alejandro Ruiz <Outsieder1@juno.com>
Long Beach, CA USA - Wednesday, July 09, 2003 at 22:21:35 (PDT)Hello Paul, it's me Nena I know you know who, how could you forget me, when I always wanted to be @ your house with you,and my Nina and Nino your,(Mom and Dad) I will never forget you even when you use to clown on me about something you always had the perfect sense of humor and you were always making me and everyone else laugh! On this day that I sit here thinking of you this is how I remember you and how I always will, And even when you weren't around when I came around your Mom was there to fill me in and brag about how good you were doing. No matter what, where, or how you will always be remember you are adored by so many people and have touched so many peoople hearts. That you could never be forgotten. Especially for your parents I can only try to imagine the pain that they are feeling for your lost, I haven't really called my Nina because I know that she is hurting and every time I talk to her I can't help but want cry because I can hear the sorrow in her voice, your were her pride and joy and me as a mother I can say that I can only imagine how she feels, And I know my life would be Hell! Paul I know you are in heaven and that you are with the Lord your life meant to much for you not to be. And I know that right now you are lookin at your mom and you are seeing how much she is suffering for you. let her know that you guys will be together just like befor. Nina I know that all you want is to be with your boy, at least just to hold him one more time I know that would make you be very happy and that you probably won't be happy untill your wish comes true. I pray that your wishes come true cause I know that is what will make you happy. And all I want is to see you smile. I dedicate to you and paul Jr. the song (smile 4 me) by Jalrue and mary J blige! May god be with you always. Much Love Nena Dominguez!
Nena <elena@primeoneinc.com>
Long Beach, USA - Monday, July 07, 2003 at 17:37:59 (PDT)